While, of course, I consider my film a fine resource, there are other resources out there to those in grief. In my research for the Secret Maps, I have come across many that I feel are worth sharing. This list is continually expanding.
The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization If you’re looking for a bereavement group, this is where you can go to locate all the hospices in your state. Every hospice has some kind of free bereavement care. No guarantee that they will have men only groups but I’m working on that.
National Widowers’ Organization Incorporated on a national level in 2011, they are actively addressing the dearth of support for grieving men. (I believe they are the first dedicated organization to do so.)
WEBSITES & BLOGS
Widownet, established in 1995 and seems not to be regularly updated but contains some good basic info.
GRASP Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing. From this brief website, I learned that the grief of losing loved ones to substance abuse is too often met with judgmental attitude. Has chapters in many states that have support meetings.
Surviving the Death of a Sibling by TJ Wray.
This book did me a good amount of personal good after the death of my sister. I didn’t come across it until about 10 months after she died but it touched me deeply and gave me language for two things I ran into a lot: disenfranchised loss and dismissive condolences.
Widower by Campbell and Silverman A great book, especially for those who cannot get to a men-only group for support. It contains straight-up interviews with 20 men. Each interview is followed by a couple of pages of analysis by a psychologist. It’s mostly straight from the mouth of experience. More on my take here.
No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh
I liked this book but was glad I didn’t read it in the emotional maelstrom of the first 10-11 months after my sister died. I’m not a practicing Buddhist (just a dabbling Buddhist) and would not have been able to receive it early on. I found it required a bit of clear and calm head in order to receive its clear and calm message.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
When a Man Faces Grief: 12 Practical Ideas to Help You Heal from Loss by Golden and Miller This is a very good book for those IMMEDIATELY after loss. One side of the book is “When a Man Faces Grief” and contains about 30 pages of 12 notions to give you a general idea of what you may go through and how normal it is. If you flip to the back cover and turn the book upside-down there is a whole other short book called “A Man You Know is Grieving” which again gives you a brief overview of what to expect, what to do and what not to do. It’s a slim read but immediately after a loss, no one is up for a big, deep read anyway.